100% raw, another desert creation and a dream about cheese!

I had no cooked food whatsoever yesterday and this morning I felt great just with my green juice then breakfast about 10.30 again. I am truly starting to notice real differences in for when I sneak in cooked food - it really doesn't make me feel good at all. I also had an early night and slept really well last night. Will go to bed early again tonight as I don't start work til 9am tomorrow, so extra time in bed, yay.

Ran out of lemons today so juice tasted quite different, but good, with lots of alfalfa, celery, cucumber, a few beetrop tops and spinach. I had chilli and flax crackers for lunch, then dahl, (for which I used tomatoes as I ran out of lemons!) courgette, celery, and the last of the chilli for supper. So no cooked food again today either, yay!

I am doing really well avoiding acidic food - but - tonight I had the time so I just had to give my raw rice pudding idea a go!! Therefore I ate a banana. (I have put the recipe in a separate post under Recipes.) It turned out even better than I imagined, as I had a brain-wave whilst making it. I decided to use blended buckwheat to thicken it rather than more banana, which would have overpowered the taste and been too sticky. The texture was amazing!

I think next time I will make more so I can use a proper blender, and it will probably taste really good after thickening in the fridge and serving cold as well. I want to experiment by leaving out the banana and still trying to get the right thickness and sweetness, and I'll try vanilla flavouring too. Can't wait to try it again. Better sprout some more buckwheat. I can't seem to get enough of it at the moment! I now serve it with my tomato and coconut curry and with chilli as if it was rice - it just seems to complete the meal. I wonder if you can eat too much of it... It does take loads of rinsing which is not so great for the water usage. Eating all these sprouted beans and donated veg is saving me a fortune, so I am waiting for the next miracle which will mean saving on water too!!

I went for a jog this evening before supper and it was hard work! I think it was because of the heat. But I did it. I really tried hard tonight to use it as a time to 'just be' and let thoughts come to me, and also spent some of the time trying to focus on and visualize some of the things I would like.

I had a dream last night about eating macaroni cheese in a kind of self-service cafe. There was nothing much else to eat and I was feeling slightly under peer pressure - it's all a bit hazy now and I can't remember if I ate it or not. I think I had a mouthful or two and then stopped - like I did in real life at work last week with some white rice from the staff canteen. It had hard uncooked bits in which was gross, which was lucky as it stopped me from eating it. So I went down to the shopfloor and got an avocaco and banana and mashed them together with a fork. Everyone thought I was mad. Until I showed them photos on my phone of apple crumble and raw sandwiches and they were pretty impressed!! And I think it mades them begin to think that maybe I am feeding yourself properly after all.

Back to the dream though - I think I am developing a repulsion for dairy products. Maybe because cow's milk is the non-vegan cooked food I've read the most about. Even the thoughts of eating fish, eggs and even chicken don't seem to have the same effect (although beef and pork do). I was never a fan of cream or milk, (although I had milk on cereal for years), I have always eaten cheese in moderation, and I used to eat loads of yoghurts as a child. As I was tidying up the yoghurt aisle at work today, the thought of eating one made me feel very strange. I always wanted to like Muller Rice but never did - now I have my own recipe - have just thought now, I can add other fruit flavours too! Woop!

No, it's all going wrong!

However I think I can identify some problems - eating when not hungry! Green juice, savoury breakfast, all good. Then I thought I'd better have some 'lunch' before work as I'd had a fairly early breakfast this morning. So I ate when not hungry, then felt that hungry-ish feeling in the afternoon (the feeling I have recently renamed as ILL) and then I had a not very decent supper, some ready salted crisps, then came home from work and started scoffing all sorts of things (including cooked porridge again :( ) about 10.30pm!! Not good. I am putting a stop to this. When I (used to) have what I call my 'unexplained tummy pains' I used to eat porridge, which always felt soothing in a way, but also brought about this ILL feeling which just made me want to eat more and more porridge. I don't know the answer to the pain, but it is not cooked food.

I WILL NOT EAT WHEN NOT HUNGRY. And then if I get hungry and it's not possible to eat, too bad! I will live! Eating when not hungry does not stop the desire for food for any longer than if you didn't eat. It actually makes it worse!!

Cooked food

Yesterday I went out for lunch. There was nothing even vegetarian on the menu (unless you count fish) apart from a jacket potato with cheese. So I asked for a jacket with a plate of steamed veg. Why I didn't ask for salad I don't know, as they also served this with most mains. Jacket potatoes are one of favourite cooked foods but this was the worst jacket potato I've ever had unfortunately. Still it was fine and I felt fine afterwards, but I was really tired in the afternoon. Unfortunately I can't say whether this was in any way down to the food, as I'd had a late night the night before, it was cloudy and close and I had a long car journey back which made me feel tired too.

I also had cooked vegan curry dishes for supper as my mum made it for one of my parents' 'meat free days' and as my friend was coming round for dinner, so we could all eat together. I ate a big plate of salad beforehand and then had the cooked. I felt full but fine. This is most definitely one of my favourite cooked vegan meals. We went out with her and I had 2 malibu and lemonades ... not sure why ... I enjoyed it but still got the feeling when I got home of, what was the point, an regret all the sugar!!! But never mind. Came home and ate more raw carrot salad ... but also tomato rice, dahl and cooked porridge! It was good.

She's been really supportive of my new eating habits and wants to try things I eat, so I'm more than happy to share!! I am really happy for her support as we've been friends for ever and I know she is always honest with me! She's like 'we'll have to go for lunch in a vegan cafe Amy!!' Makes me realise how important it is to have the support of family and friends and how much better it feels!

The vegan at the party

It was my Mum's 50th Birthday party on Saturday and there was a lot of catering to be done. My mum and sister did most of it and did a really good job. I get my passion for food from them. My contribution was roasted mediterranean veg, houmous (cooked) guacamole, and a tomato and cucumber salad - thought it was best to keep it simple. A lady who grows her own leaves came with a beautiful plate full (pictured above) and my sister brought some awesome spicy red pepper chutney. So of course I just had to take a picture of my plate, which looked fab. Cooked food can certainly still be colourful and vibrant and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Guilt-free diet

Well, I don't feel I have much to report today. I had some raw food followed by a bit of my mum's cooked dahl and rice for supper. Then some fruit. It is weird because I kind of think that cooked food is naughty on this diet, but really I know by most standards, having a little bit isn't at all. So you get to have a treat which isn't really naughty. A bit like the maltesers advert haha. And this recipe is vegan, so I am happy with that. I have definitely got to a level I'm comfortable with at the moment, and I do still envisage a time when I will not even desire cooked food at all. My cravings for cooked porridge are already starting to weaken, it often strikes me as not being fresh and vibrant. At the moment though I am happy to call myself 90 to what shall we say, about 97% raw!!